88 Japanese Tips for Getting Along with People: Reading series, The Conclusion of Life -1

Reading “The Conclusion of Life”-1

Hi everyone! It’s Pentleman here!

Sloth-san

Getting along with people from different walks of life is so difficult…

This is a common dilemma in the world we live in.

Relationships are part of the human nature and the core that brings us happiness.

Let’s reveal some truths behind the concept of WA, the Japanese term for peace and harmony.

This article is for  

– Business people aged 30-50 years old

– People struggling to get along with co-workers

– People who wants to know the Japanese culture and their perspective on the essence of life

Concept of this series  

These series of articles were inspired by the book “人生の結論 (The Conclusion of Life)” published in 2018″, by Kazuo Koike ((小池一夫, 1963 – 2019), a comic writer and script writer.
Tagline of this book: After living 82 years, he finally got “to be a mature adult”.

 

book, "the conclusion of life"

This article hopes to help people who seek to live happily. 

Let’s see the tips of the day!

~Tip#1~ To Have a Good Relationship with Others, Have a Good Relationship with Yourself First

Good Relationship

I always feel that the level of troubles in relationships for adults and kids are almost alike. ***

Relationships start from accurately evaluating yourself and accepting such evaluation.

If the aspect of yourself from the view points of “yourself” and ”others” are different, you can have a poor relationship with gaps in the first place.

Cited and Translated from: The Conclusion of Life, by Kazuo Koike

(人生の結論, 小池一夫 )

Human relationships look seeds of trouble

Japan is the country with the highest suicide rate among G7.

Successful and famous people are not exempted from this social trend. 

The suicide number in 2020 was higher than the death by COVID19 of the same year.

It looks like troubles of human relationships are all the fundamental stuff.

Recognition of yourself is the first step. I agree with the author’s opinion.

What was the meaning of the words on T-shirt?

When I was a primary student, I asked a translation of a sentence on my T-shirt.

“Where are we heading?”

The teacher told me the meaning in Japanese and then asked me,

“Where did the person come from ?”

If the person doesn’t know who he is and his identity, it would be hard to identify the distance between him and others, and how to approach others correctly.

First of all, you need to have a good relationship with yourself, in other words, deep understanding of yourself.

~Tip#2~ Relationship Ending; You Don’t Have to Force Yourself to Keep up

Sorry

My relationships after living for 82 years are only with people whom I couldn’t keep up with.

I realized that I wasted much time and efforts on those relationships. ” ***

Other person doesn’t care so much rather than you think. That is the value that a mature adult already realizes.

A childish grown man can’t understand that others aren’t interested in him so much, talk about himself, and push his value onto us.

Cited and Translated from: The Conclusion of Life, by Kazuo Koike

(人生の結論, 小池一夫 )

This is an advice for you! It is for your own good!

A person who forces his idea on others is everywhere.

Of course, I have such kind of colleges in my work place.

Such people don’t notice that others are annoyed.

“This is an advice for you! It is for your own good.”

This is a frequently used expression.

The purpose of induction toward his opinion

However, we know he wants to control us behind the word.

He’s trying to lead us to what he wants us to be.

Such person would say,

“To complete the task, you can use the guy as well~.”

Who wants to work with such kind of people?

We can’t judge a person’s character at first glance.

We need to realize that real kind person shouldn’t use such kind of advice.

~Tip#3~ To Please Everyone is Being up Against the Wall

Wall Street

The most important word is “RESPECT”. 

If there is respect, the differences between you and the other person will be naturally determined.

This is not only a difference in the “way of thinking” but in the “attitude” as well.

It’s better to decide whom you have personal relationships with by your preferences rather than to be nice to everyone.

Choosing whom you have relationships with will bring you less stressful human connection.

Pleasing everyone is being up against the wall.

In other words, you would be used and be abused if you want to be loved by everybody. In the end,you would notice the negativities, and you would feel frustrated.

Cited and Translated from: The Conclusion of Life, by Kazuo Koike

(人生の結論, 小池一夫 )

Seniority rules

Japan has a culture of “Senior colleague, Senpai, 先輩” and “Junior colleague, Kohai, 後輩”.
Being one year older makes someone more superior.

This depends on the order of the starting year in schools, companies, and even in friendships.
Earlier has an authority than later.

The person who joined earlier has more authority than the people who joined later. 

Seniority rules are observed strictly in Japan as a part of culture. 

However, every organization has unethical people who use colleagues because of seniority rules.

A flow to get promotion

They always look for “great results” and “promotions” frantically.

In Japanese, we say that  “looking for something with blood in one’s eyes (direct translation)”, following the way below.

[Step 1] Building his own team. Recruiting people he can fully have control over.

 

[Step 2] Motivating the workers superficially to encourage good results. 

 

[Step 3] Demanding the workers to push the project forward, even if the workers have other tasks they have to worry about.

 

[Step 4] Appealing to their boss continuously, and taking all the credit for his team’s success. 

 

[Step 5] Stepping up to get a promotion! 

Sorry, we don’t need to grin and bear it.

I hope you find someone compatible!

Topics of the day
~Tip#1~ To Have a Good Relationship with Others, Have a Good Relationship with Yourself First
~Tip#2~ Relationship Ending; You Don’t Have to Force Yourself to Keep up
~Tip#3~ To Please Everyone is Being up Against the Wall

Pentleman

Thank you for reading Pentleman blog!

Pentleman’s photo travel

@Myojoji temple, Hakui, Ishikawa in July

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