Hi everyone! It’s Pentleman (@pentleman_blog) here!
When we try to be popular with the Japanese ladies, men should learn what types are nice for women. Japanese women don’t tend to express their feeling directly, and sometimes their attitude isn’t understandable.
b) women who want to get married to a Japanese high-standard guy; and
c) people who are interested in Japanese marriage culture in big cities.
Try to live within own means. Otherwise, the bad money sense would spoil your life.
I hope this essay can expand your sense of life.
Let’s find it through this short essay!
Which working type is acceptable for my daughter’s partner?
Japanese parents tell their children, especially sons, to go to a good university or college when children are in the elementary school.
In the past generation, 30 years ago, when parents worked for Japanese companies, going to a top level, for example, old imperial universities, are the center of attraction.
For them, getting a job at a big company equates to being well-endowed and accomplished which leads to a successful life.
From this point of view, the perfect man for marriage would be a person working for a big company in Tokyo, which gives the highest compensation in Japan.
Generally speaking, parents of the fiancée tend to regard a man who just starts his own high risk business and is less acceptable, compared to a man who works for a good standing company and had already established his own business, of course.
2) Men has his own business:
a) But just started >> high risk >> NO
b) Already established his own business >> lower risk >> Acceptable
Japanese women like safer property as their own partner
Compared to that unstable man, a man working for a big company or government service is considered “safer property”, which has a well-balanced life.
This concept symbolizes Japanese people who love playing safe.
I doubt the stability of a big company, but that concept matches the preference of Japanese women.
They really prefer being safe and stable to risky and adventurous.
Therefore, such guys are super popular in a matchmaking party that is called “Go-Kon (合コン)” and follows marriage related coupling system.
It looks like financial criteria of Japanese women are one of the most critical factors especially when looking for a spouse.
Actually, I understand the logic because everyone doesn’t want to get on a sinking ship.
Works for a good, Belongs to a bad
Here, I would like to introduce a story of a man who works for a good standing company, but belongs to a bad treating family.
One of my friends told his subordinate that when he can’t stand looking at the exhausted guy.
The guy had been working until midnight daily, and worn the same clothes for a week.
In addition, my friend, as his boss, was worried about his lowering performance in six months.
The gentle guy was 35 years old, and got married at 32.
He lived with his wife and daughter, and worked for a good standing company to earn a handsome $100,000 a year. His high-rise condo was in Shinagawa, Tokyo.
Everything sounds social winner. He sounds prominent.
Financial support spoiled family relationship
When my friend, his boss, told me the story, I felt something was wrong with the situation.
That is his family lives in a highly luxurious tower, which price was probably more than one million dollars.
Honestly speaking, he bought the living property which was way beyond his annual income acceptance.
I pointed out that his family didn’t live within their means.
My friend followed,
I realized all. In short, he lost his right to speak in his family.
This is the scheme he got as negative effects.
1) Her parents got to interfere with his family after handing over the 70% support.
2) His wife got to make him disrespected, following his daughter did.
3) Then, he lost his place as the head of his family.
The poor but gentle guy insisted that the main problem was his parents-in-law.
And he regretted all of his life’s decisions.
The root of the problem might belong to the other.
I believe that the root of the poor guy’s problem wasn’t his parents-in-law.
The true mistake was, he couldn’t see her bad sense of money.
This was the conclusion my friend and I talked about:
1) couldn’t try to live within their means;
2) needed her parents’ financial support to afford her luxuries; but
3) doesn’t have earning power to get them by herself.
In the stage of looking for the best partner, high-earning and easy-handling guy were the final answer for her.
In Japan, men who won the examination competition are tend to get a job at good companies. Their nature is faithful, but sometimes such guys are too defenseless when it comes to handling his marriage.
In the marriage hunting market in Japan, there are a lot of women who want to be a gold digger.
They call high earning men as “high-spec” or “good property,” and decline men in front of them by a financial threshold.
A smart guy would say: “Thank you” gently.
And just think,“Sorry, you’re not sweet for my partner in life.”
Pentleman’s Photo Travel
@ Heisenji Hakusan Shrine, Fukui in November